I remember when I turned 30. It was a big deal for me. I had an idea when I was in my 20's about where I would be in life when I turned 30, and my actual life was nothing like what I pictured. By the time I was thirty I had been married and divorced, twice (yeah, I wish I had waited until I was a little more emotionally mature), I lost the house in the divorce so I had to move back in with my parents, and I didn't have kids yet. Definitely NOT what I had in mind for myself at 30. It was a very hard year.
But now that's 10 years behind me. Sure 40 sounds old (to me it does) but I don't feel old. Most of the time I still feel like a teenager and wonder when I'll feel like a "grown up." That's not to say I haven't had to deal with many grown up issues (being <thisclose> to buying a house but then backing out at the last minute, losing close relatives, the loss of our second child at 30+ weeks) but through it all I've never become bitter or cynical. Sure, I may not be in the shape I was when I was 30, but I'm *happy*. I have an amazing partner and best friend in my loving husband, together we have two beautiful, polite, kind daughters, we recently made a huge life change by moving from the Midwest to the South East, and I have the incredible love and support from our wonderful families and friends. And when it all comes down to it, I think that's all you can ask for, no matter how old you are.
Take care,
{J}
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